Brandon's Moving Away- Why Must we Love and let go in this Life??

I do not recognize this feeling of sadness I am experiencing.  It feels unnatural and unkind.  Brandon Is moving to Austin for the summer to work and earn money before putting in his mission papers.  I can remember the first time I held him in my arms like it was, literally, just yesterday and now he is moving away.  Why must we love and let go in this life?  That question is one that I hope to attain an answer to some day?  I feel a loss and a hole in my heart already, and he's not even gone yet.  He's at general priesthood meeting with Brett and Austin, where he's getting sustained as an elder.  He has worked so hard to prepare for this day.  I am incredibly proud of him.  He has demons that he's facing that only him and Brett and I under stand and he is putting them to rest through the atonement and the power he gets from the Holy Ghost.  I am so thankful he has learned to feel the promptings of the Holy Ghost in his life.  I have watched him several times in the last couple years as he's prayed and received answers to very hard decisions.  He knows what it feels like and lets the promptings of the Holy Ghost guide him. Shortly before he graduated from High School, he was given a full ride scholarship to a Baptist University to come kick on their football team.  He accepted it and was so excited! I initially thought he would kick for one semester and then go on his mission.  After a couple weeks, he came to Brett and I told us he had changed his mind.  He said  he just didn't feel good about it.  We were so proud of him.  Brett and I didn't feel good about it either, but we knew it wasn't our place to open our mouth.  It reminded me of the time he came to me and said, "I've been praying about this and I feel like It would be a good idea to quit playing soccer and take up football."  It was his sophomore year in high school and he had never stepped foot onto the football field.  Two and a half years later he was given a full ride scholarship for his kicking skills.  He worked so hard and had accomplished so much while following the promptings of the Holy Ghost. Eight weeks ago we were all in Utah and we asked him if he'd like to stay in Utah and work and spend time close to the temples and strong members of our extended family while he fights his demons that are preventing him from going on a mission, right away. He thought about it for a couple days and said, "I just don't feel good about it.  I am not ready to leave Eathyn and Ryan yet.  I want more time with the family before leaving on my mission.  Saying I was toughed doesn't come close to describing how he touched me with that decision.
So, here I sit and I hope and pray I have taught him everything he needs to know to return to live with his Heavenly Father someday.  There's absolutely nothing that is more important to me than living together forever with Brett and my children.  Along with those feelings, I am going to miss him so much.  He has always been a dear friend of mine.  He has been a joy every moment for the last 18 1/2 years.  What will life be like with out him in our home?

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