On The Lords Errand
Cindy Pritchard written December 21, 2014
My heart is so heavy tonight. After 7 weeks of separation, Ellie's Mommy and sister couldn't stand being away from her any longer. They asked if I would be okay if they changed their mind, and took her back.
With Ellie being Nancy's niece and not her daughter, she had no idea how strong her bond was until she was separated from her. I remember telling her, "From my experience in the past, of raising another mothers child, you will not know how strong your bond is with Ellie until you are separated from her."
I was reflecting back on memories of my 6 week separation from Mariela, when she was 10 months old. It was the worst experience of my life, up to that point. I had no idea how it would affect me until she went to her uncles.
That same thing happened to Nancy. I understood and had to let Ellie go home. I am missing her so much. It's amazing how I could love a child so deeply, so fast. I feel like I was suppose to be her mommy, even for a brief time, long before coming to this earth.
How else could I love her so much, immediately? I miss her sweet little laugh, and her desire to be on my lap every second of every day. She is such a sweet little girl. I hope to be her third mommy for ever and ever.
Right now when I go to her house, she is scared to death to even get close to me. It breaks my heart so much! She's afraid I'm going to take her away from her mommy again.
In the weeks I had her daughter, Nancy had the opportunity to rest and saw her health come a long way. They are preparing her for a kidney transplant.
Ellie's big sister who is 19 years old had such terrible separation anxiety from her. She has cut her college schedule in half and is going to help raise Ellie since her mom is in such bad shape.
I know it worked out the way the Lord had planned, but that doesn't change how much I love and miss her. I would of never expected my experience with Mariela, would come into effect in my life almost three years after she died.
I have learned once again that if we stay close to The Lord, and have a desire to be an instrument in His hands, He will direct our paths. Life will still be very difficult in a lot of ways, but we will feel His presence in our lives, and feel so close to Heaven along the way.
Right after I realized I needed to take her home, I was bitter and heart broken. I knew I would miss her so much. I was briefly tired of being on the Lords errand. Within the hour, I realized I wouldn't of wanted to miss the dance with this little girl.
I knew I had seen His hand in my life during the past seven weeks, as I was often on my knees trying to find the direction necessary to help our whole family through the transition of having her in our home.
She came to us with a very, very difficult personality and challenges I had never dealt with in 20 years of raising children. Each time I prayed I received answers and direction so clearly from the Gift of the Holy Ghost that I was given at my baptism.
I wouldn't want to trade the close presence of Heaven I felt while caring for Ellie. I want to keep living just as I am, even if I have to keep going through difficult experiences while on the Lord's errands.
My heart is so heavy tonight. After 7 weeks of separation, Ellie's Mommy and sister couldn't stand being away from her any longer. They asked if I would be okay if they changed their mind, and took her back.
With Ellie being Nancy's niece and not her daughter, she had no idea how strong her bond was until she was separated from her. I remember telling her, "From my experience in the past, of raising another mothers child, you will not know how strong your bond is with Ellie until you are separated from her."
I was reflecting back on memories of my 6 week separation from Mariela, when she was 10 months old. It was the worst experience of my life, up to that point. I had no idea how it would affect me until she went to her uncles.
That same thing happened to Nancy. I understood and had to let Ellie go home. I am missing her so much. It's amazing how I could love a child so deeply, so fast. I feel like I was suppose to be her mommy, even for a brief time, long before coming to this earth.
How else could I love her so much, immediately? I miss her sweet little laugh, and her desire to be on my lap every second of every day. She is such a sweet little girl. I hope to be her third mommy for ever and ever.
Right now when I go to her house, she is scared to death to even get close to me. It breaks my heart so much! She's afraid I'm going to take her away from her mommy again.
In the weeks I had her daughter, Nancy had the opportunity to rest and saw her health come a long way. They are preparing her for a kidney transplant.
Ellie's big sister who is 19 years old had such terrible separation anxiety from her. She has cut her college schedule in half and is going to help raise Ellie since her mom is in such bad shape.
I know it worked out the way the Lord had planned, but that doesn't change how much I love and miss her. I would of never expected my experience with Mariela, would come into effect in my life almost three years after she died.
I have learned once again that if we stay close to The Lord, and have a desire to be an instrument in His hands, He will direct our paths. Life will still be very difficult in a lot of ways, but we will feel His presence in our lives, and feel so close to Heaven along the way.
Right after I realized I needed to take her home, I was bitter and heart broken. I knew I would miss her so much. I was briefly tired of being on the Lords errand. Within the hour, I realized I wouldn't of wanted to miss the dance with this little girl.
I knew I had seen His hand in my life during the past seven weeks, as I was often on my knees trying to find the direction necessary to help our whole family through the transition of having her in our home.
She came to us with a very, very difficult personality and challenges I had never dealt with in 20 years of raising children. Each time I prayed I received answers and direction so clearly from the Gift of the Holy Ghost that I was given at my baptism.
I wouldn't want to trade the close presence of Heaven I felt while caring for Ellie. I want to keep living just as I am, even if I have to keep going through difficult experiences while on the Lord's errands.
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