Continued miracles-2017
Getting your dad and I through that crisis proved to be more intense than loosing Mariela. I thought I had suffered all I could up to that day. But, watching dad step off the straight and narrow made me realize I had put my children first in my life for 20 plus years.
I switched my loyalties the moment I realized that. I loved him dearly and I knew our eternal family would not be intact if he didn't make it through this crisis. I walked by his side, as a voice of reason much of the time, as he walked away from all he had been trained would bring him happiness in his life. The other part of the time, I fell with him.
I have never felt more tempted in all of my life combined. I learned first hand the importance of choosing to surround ourselves with good friends; friends who make righteous choices. I did not have the choice at that point. Okay, yes I did. I could have asked him to leave and fight the crisis on his own, but, that didn't feel right.
I was terrified I would not have the strength to win the war that was all around me, but I could not leave him to fight it alone either. I learned the power of the strength that a married couple have together. It's amazing and beautiful to say the very least.
When your dad first started drinking at medicinal levels, I stayed as far away from it as I possibly could muster, even though it was in front of me on a daily basis. Then, one day after being around it for months, I fell and had a shot of rum.
I was fighting a loosing battle. I had been craving alcohol at intense levels for years. I was also broken and not living close to the spirit, because it intensified my grieving heart. At first, I used it at medicinal levels to control the stress that was causing crazy high levels of anxiety.
Unlike Brett, my drinking went from medicinal levels to more. I knew I was risking a severe disease of alcoholism, but I couldn't refrain from drinking with alcohol so close to me, and with my eternal companion drinking it too. I just didn't have the strength.
When it went from medicinal levels, to levels that robbed me of the spirit, (the spirit I wasn't even aware I possessed until it was gone), I knew I had to figure something out quick!!! I was terrified, but kept thinking about the witness I had that day at church when I was baring my testimony. There was a way through this, I just had to keep looking for it.
One day I decided to call on the strength of you, older children. I had learned during the last couple years that you children were now stronger than me, and there was nothing to be ashamed of. It was a part of my reality, as I was trying to find a way to heal from the trials that felt larger than me.
I wrote you all a letter to see if you would all fast and pray with me, and I decided to go to the temple to see if I could find the strength, and the miracle I needed to get rid of my craving for alcohol once and for all. I was so tired of the battle. I needed it to be over.
I knew your dad would likely drink medicinal levels of alcohol for many years to come, but I could not. Medicinal levels was no longer possible for me. I was loosing the spirit quickly in my life. I could feel it pulling me away from the sweetness of the spirit that separated me from the world. The alcohol that was going into my body was now not at levels that were good for my spirit. The effects of the alcohol were numbing my spirit.
I switched my loyalties the moment I realized that. I loved him dearly and I knew our eternal family would not be intact if he didn't make it through this crisis. I walked by his side, as a voice of reason much of the time, as he walked away from all he had been trained would bring him happiness in his life. The other part of the time, I fell with him.
I have never felt more tempted in all of my life combined. I learned first hand the importance of choosing to surround ourselves with good friends; friends who make righteous choices. I did not have the choice at that point. Okay, yes I did. I could have asked him to leave and fight the crisis on his own, but, that didn't feel right.
I was terrified I would not have the strength to win the war that was all around me, but I could not leave him to fight it alone either. I learned the power of the strength that a married couple have together. It's amazing and beautiful to say the very least.
When your dad first started drinking at medicinal levels, I stayed as far away from it as I possibly could muster, even though it was in front of me on a daily basis. Then, one day after being around it for months, I fell and had a shot of rum.
I was fighting a loosing battle. I had been craving alcohol at intense levels for years. I was also broken and not living close to the spirit, because it intensified my grieving heart. At first, I used it at medicinal levels to control the stress that was causing crazy high levels of anxiety.
Unlike Brett, my drinking went from medicinal levels to more. I knew I was risking a severe disease of alcoholism, but I couldn't refrain from drinking with alcohol so close to me, and with my eternal companion drinking it too. I just didn't have the strength.
When it went from medicinal levels, to levels that robbed me of the spirit, (the spirit I wasn't even aware I possessed until it was gone), I knew I had to figure something out quick!!! I was terrified, but kept thinking about the witness I had that day at church when I was baring my testimony. There was a way through this, I just had to keep looking for it.
One day I decided to call on the strength of you, older children. I had learned during the last couple years that you children were now stronger than me, and there was nothing to be ashamed of. It was a part of my reality, as I was trying to find a way to heal from the trials that felt larger than me.
I wrote you all a letter to see if you would all fast and pray with me, and I decided to go to the temple to see if I could find the strength, and the miracle I needed to get rid of my craving for alcohol once and for all. I was so tired of the battle. I needed it to be over.
I knew your dad would likely drink medicinal levels of alcohol for many years to come, but I could not. Medicinal levels was no longer possible for me. I was loosing the spirit quickly in my life. I could feel it pulling me away from the sweetness of the spirit that separated me from the world. The alcohol that was going into my body was now not at levels that were good for my spirit. The effects of the alcohol were numbing my spirit.
The following weekend, after I went to the temple and we all fasted and prayed, I went to Austin with your dad. I had a medicinal level of alcohol and then some more, and then some more. As always, your dad stopped at his medicinal level.
The difference is, when the substance gets in my blood, I no longer have an ounce of control. I drank my self to dangerous levels that weekend. I got so sick! I felt like I was going to die! I was in the most severe pain I have ever been in my life. I felt like my insides were going to explode! I did not get to enjoy that evening with your dad, I ended up passing out. I was severely sick the next day as well.
The difference is, when the substance gets in my blood, I no longer have an ounce of control. I drank my self to dangerous levels that weekend. I got so sick! I felt like I was going to die! I was in the most severe pain I have ever been in my life. I felt like my insides were going to explode! I did not get to enjoy that evening with your dad, I ended up passing out. I was severely sick the next day as well.
I witnessed a miracle, that weekend that I hope to never ever forget. We had all fasted and prayed the weekend before, and I had begged the Lord for help in the temple. I wanted this addiction to be gone once and for all! It has now been over a month since I drank myself to dangerous levels. I have gone without craving that "lie" (as I call alcohol) for longer than I have in my whole life. I have been repulsed by alcohol sense.
By Rebekah (Pritchard) Bingham
4/3/17
Last summer (2016), I randomly decided to sign up for a missionary preparation class. I only took the class because I had heard it was easy. I hate how hard religion credits are at BYU, so this class was my way to avoid that. I had sworn to myself and everyone that I would not be going on a mission, though. While in class one day, I realized that all of my experiences in life had lead up to me going on a mission. The Spirit hit me very hard one day while discussing the roles of the Holy Ghost in class. The teacher taught: when someone is a member of the church, they have the constant companionship of the holy ghost. However, if members with the gift of the Holy Ghost (or its constant companionship) are not worthy of its constant companionship, they can still (1) be warned and (2) feel when something they are hearing is true. When someone is not a member, the only witnesses they receive from the Holy Ghost are those SAME TWO!!!! This realization hit me hard. There was a time in my life where I was not living worthily to have the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost. I could only be warned and feel when something I heard/read/etc. was true. That was during the darkest time in my life. I remember a specific moment when I finally was clean and pure again. It was the happiest and most joyful time in my life. I was in my car and just started bawling happy tears. I always want the light that strong in my life. I never wanted to be back in the dark. I wanted the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost. Then, I knew, I wanted everyone to have that same spirit in their lives at all times. I felt bad for those who were in the dark-like I was!!! I knew that although the mission was never in my plans, it was something I needed to do.
I submitted my mission papers within the week, and I had my mission call 3 weeks later to Montreal, Canada Spanish and French speaking. I was sad to leave Conner. I remember crying in the Commons Room at my apartment about needing to go. I knew it was what I had to do, though. Conner and I opened the scriptures. The very chapter we turned to was about bringing people out of darkness and unto Christ. It was strong revelation to us both that it was the Lord's plan for me. I continued to receive witnesses like that for the months that followed and lead up to my mission.
Although Conner and I knew the mission was right for me, we continued to talk about marriage. I had a lot of doubts and fears about being married, though. The list of fears was huge. The main fear was that the Lord had told me to go on a mission, though. He had not told me to get married. I was in utter anguish before I left for my mission. It wasn't what I wanted to do. I DID NOT WANT TO GO!!!! I never feared about going, though. The night before I left on my mission, Dad gave me a Father's blessing. He blessed me to overcome doubt and fear.
While on my mission, I dedicated all I had to bringing others to Christ. My mission was the best 2 weeks of my life. I worked hard, and I stayed focused. I did not focus on Conner. I even emailed him and asked him not to come see me at the temple because I wanted to follow all of the commandments for missionaries. I do not think I could have received the special witness that I did when in the temple had I not shown the Lord (1) I was willing to put him first and devote everything to him and (2) I was able to follow all of His commandments--even the hard ones. I was also prepared to receive the spiritual experience I did because the Spirit was SO STRONG in the MTC.
When I went to the temple with all of the missionaries on March 3, I sat in the endowment session and asked the Lord if I was doing everything he needed me to and if I was still on the right path. I was happy on my mission, and I was not begging to come home. But then, the Spirit hit me so strong saying, "Your mission is done. It's time to go home and get married to Conner." I was actually devastated. I asked the Lord, "What about the people being prepared for me in Canada? I've been working so hard to be ready to teach them!" The Lord said, "I have plenty of missionaries who are going to Canada. I do not need you to progress my work. You have a new mission now." I missed the rest of the endowment session. I was so overcome with the spirit.
Later, I sat in the celestial room and felt so much love from my Heavenly Father. He knew me so well. He knew the answer I would need to receive to overcome all my doubts and fears about marriage. He knew I needed to go to Peru and on my mission or I would never have been ready to receive that special witness.
I went home and then more miracles happened!!
(1) We had the entire wedding planned in two days. Conner proposed on March 4. We had the wedding planned by March 6.
(2) On March 6, I said a prayer in the morning saying I needed to find a dress that day. I usually have the hardest time shopping. I found the most perfect dress for me in the first store I went into.
(3) We really felt like March 18 was the day we were supposed to get married when we each prayed about it. How was I going to find housing in the middle of the semester, though?!?! A house showed up on Airbnb that had everyday open from March 6 - April 28 EXCEPT MARCH 16, 17, 18, and 19!! Those are the days I knew my family would be in town if I got married on the 18! I knew I could stay with them then. I booked it! When I got to the Airbnb, they told me, "We never put the house on the Airbnb website. We just moved in, but since you were offering to stay for so long, we got our basement ready for you, anyways. We opened the Airbnb on March 16 not the 6!" I needed a place to stay though since I had just come out of the MTC and the Lord made that happen! I moved into Conner and my temporary home on March 6!!!!
(4) We moved forward with all wedding plans before we even called to schedule the temple because we felt it was right. When we called the temple, we were told we could have any time and any room that day as long as we had Conner's sealing clearance. We had talked with the Bishop and Stake President on March 5 before notifying our parents of the date (18). They said everything was taken care of--but appearenlty it wasn't. We were missing a form from the 1st presidency. The office of the 1st presidency told our Stake president that the very fastest they had ever seen one of those forms signed was 5 days. That was too long. We wouldn't be able to receive it in time to make reservations for our luncheon, our cake, our honeymoon sweet, etc. We moved forward with plans anyways because we felt that it would work out. At the last possible moment, the Stake President let us know that President Monsen's secretary had contacted him. She said, "I don't know how this happened. I've never seen this happen before, but President Monsen stopped by the office and reviewed your case. He told me he was very prompted to approve the sealing request without further questioning or anything else. I've never seen him work so fast. You all are very blessed. He has asked me to call the temple myself and scheduled a time for you all to be married because there won't be time to mail you the clearance and schedule the temple before the 18th." We were then able to schedule everything we needed to at the last second!!! Our constant and fervent prayers for everything to work out for the 18th were heard and the LORD'S PROPHET HIMSELF made it all possible!!! The temple was still available so their office scheduled it for us on March 17!!!
When it is the Lord's plan LITERALLY EVERYTHING will fall into place--and it did!!
Miracle (5)- I felt very prompted to leave home when I was 17. I knew it was the right path for me. I KNEW it. I always wondered why the Lord lead me somewhere so hard. Now I know at least one reason, I would have never gone a mission without that experience.
This was a very special experience for me. I know the Lord is aware of me and hears my prayers. I've learned so much about Him and prayer. I know he hears my prayers. I know His plan is perfect. I have the best husband and best friend in the world. Every moment these past 2 and 1/2 weeks of marriage have been perfect. It is so nice to know I'll be with my best friend forever!!! He supports me all the time! He tries so hard to be perfect for me. He prays fervently to align His will with God's and to become a better person. I could not have picked a better person to be with. We are so similar and make each other better! I'm so happy.
By Rebekah (Pritchard) Bingham
4/3/17
Last summer (2016), I randomly decided to sign up for a missionary preparation class. I only took the class because I had heard it was easy. I hate how hard religion credits are at BYU, so this class was my way to avoid that. I had sworn to myself and everyone that I would not be going on a mission, though. While in class one day, I realized that all of my experiences in life had lead up to me going on a mission. The Spirit hit me very hard one day while discussing the roles of the Holy Ghost in class. The teacher taught: when someone is a member of the church, they have the constant companionship of the holy ghost. However, if members with the gift of the Holy Ghost (or its constant companionship) are not worthy of its constant companionship, they can still (1) be warned and (2) feel when something they are hearing is true. When someone is not a member, the only witnesses they receive from the Holy Ghost are those SAME TWO!!!! This realization hit me hard. There was a time in my life where I was not living worthily to have the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost. I could only be warned and feel when something I heard/read/etc. was true. That was during the darkest time in my life. I remember a specific moment when I finally was clean and pure again. It was the happiest and most joyful time in my life. I was in my car and just started bawling happy tears. I always want the light that strong in my life. I never wanted to be back in the dark. I wanted the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost. Then, I knew, I wanted everyone to have that same spirit in their lives at all times. I felt bad for those who were in the dark-like I was!!! I knew that although the mission was never in my plans, it was something I needed to do.
I submitted my mission papers within the week, and I had my mission call 3 weeks later to Montreal, Canada Spanish and French speaking. I was sad to leave Conner. I remember crying in the Commons Room at my apartment about needing to go. I knew it was what I had to do, though. Conner and I opened the scriptures. The very chapter we turned to was about bringing people out of darkness and unto Christ. It was strong revelation to us both that it was the Lord's plan for me. I continued to receive witnesses like that for the months that followed and lead up to my mission.
Although Conner and I knew the mission was right for me, we continued to talk about marriage. I had a lot of doubts and fears about being married, though. The list of fears was huge. The main fear was that the Lord had told me to go on a mission, though. He had not told me to get married. I was in utter anguish before I left for my mission. It wasn't what I wanted to do. I DID NOT WANT TO GO!!!! I never feared about going, though. The night before I left on my mission, Dad gave me a Father's blessing. He blessed me to overcome doubt and fear.
While on my mission, I dedicated all I had to bringing others to Christ. My mission was the best 2 weeks of my life. I worked hard, and I stayed focused. I did not focus on Conner. I even emailed him and asked him not to come see me at the temple because I wanted to follow all of the commandments for missionaries. I do not think I could have received the special witness that I did when in the temple had I not shown the Lord (1) I was willing to put him first and devote everything to him and (2) I was able to follow all of His commandments--even the hard ones. I was also prepared to receive the spiritual experience I did because the Spirit was SO STRONG in the MTC.
When I went to the temple with all of the missionaries on March 3, I sat in the endowment session and asked the Lord if I was doing everything he needed me to and if I was still on the right path. I was happy on my mission, and I was not begging to come home. But then, the Spirit hit me so strong saying, "Your mission is done. It's time to go home and get married to Conner." I was actually devastated. I asked the Lord, "What about the people being prepared for me in Canada? I've been working so hard to be ready to teach them!" The Lord said, "I have plenty of missionaries who are going to Canada. I do not need you to progress my work. You have a new mission now." I missed the rest of the endowment session. I was so overcome with the spirit.
Later, I sat in the celestial room and felt so much love from my Heavenly Father. He knew me so well. He knew the answer I would need to receive to overcome all my doubts and fears about marriage. He knew I needed to go to Peru and on my mission or I would never have been ready to receive that special witness.
I went home and then more miracles happened!!
(1) We had the entire wedding planned in two days. Conner proposed on March 4. We had the wedding planned by March 6.
(2) On March 6, I said a prayer in the morning saying I needed to find a dress that day. I usually have the hardest time shopping. I found the most perfect dress for me in the first store I went into.
(3) We really felt like March 18 was the day we were supposed to get married when we each prayed about it. How was I going to find housing in the middle of the semester, though?!?! A house showed up on Airbnb that had everyday open from March 6 - April 28 EXCEPT MARCH 16, 17, 18, and 19!! Those are the days I knew my family would be in town if I got married on the 18! I knew I could stay with them then. I booked it! When I got to the Airbnb, they told me, "We never put the house on the Airbnb website. We just moved in, but since you were offering to stay for so long, we got our basement ready for you, anyways. We opened the Airbnb on March 16 not the 6!" I needed a place to stay though since I had just come out of the MTC and the Lord made that happen! I moved into Conner and my temporary home on March 6!!!!
(4) We moved forward with all wedding plans before we even called to schedule the temple because we felt it was right. When we called the temple, we were told we could have any time and any room that day as long as we had Conner's sealing clearance. We had talked with the Bishop and Stake President on March 5 before notifying our parents of the date (18). They said everything was taken care of--but appearenlty it wasn't. We were missing a form from the 1st presidency. The office of the 1st presidency told our Stake president that the very fastest they had ever seen one of those forms signed was 5 days. That was too long. We wouldn't be able to receive it in time to make reservations for our luncheon, our cake, our honeymoon sweet, etc. We moved forward with plans anyways because we felt that it would work out. At the last possible moment, the Stake President let us know that President Monsen's secretary had contacted him. She said, "I don't know how this happened. I've never seen this happen before, but President Monsen stopped by the office and reviewed your case. He told me he was very prompted to approve the sealing request without further questioning or anything else. I've never seen him work so fast. You all are very blessed. He has asked me to call the temple myself and scheduled a time for you all to be married because there won't be time to mail you the clearance and schedule the temple before the 18th." We were then able to schedule everything we needed to at the last second!!! Our constant and fervent prayers for everything to work out for the 18th were heard and the LORD'S PROPHET HIMSELF made it all possible!!! The temple was still available so their office scheduled it for us on March 17!!!
When it is the Lord's plan LITERALLY EVERYTHING will fall into place--and it did!!
Miracle (5)- I felt very prompted to leave home when I was 17. I knew it was the right path for me. I KNEW it. I always wondered why the Lord lead me somewhere so hard. Now I know at least one reason, I would have never gone a mission without that experience.
This was a very special experience for me. I know the Lord is aware of me and hears my prayers. I've learned so much about Him and prayer. I know he hears my prayers. I know His plan is perfect. I have the best husband and best friend in the world. Every moment these past 2 and 1/2 weeks of marriage have been perfect. It is so nice to know I'll be with my best friend forever!!! He supports me all the time! He tries so hard to be perfect for me. He prays fervently to align His will with God's and to become a better person. I could not have picked a better person to be with. We are so similar and make each other better! I'm so happy.
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