Miracle While Visiting Teaching
I witnessed a miracle while I was visiting teaching this week . I was at the woodlands and I was feeling particularly bitter in side. The bitterness seeped into our conversation and brother Woodland got wind of my bad attitude from the other room. He came into the room and started to chastise me. At first I was so angry with him for putting his nose into my business. But finally the spirit pricked my heart, because I couldn 't deny the truth of what he was saying to me. I took the rest of my beating with humility. I know that man loves me and was only trying to help. The spirit ended up being so strong during that conversation. I knew there was no coincidence in him being home at the very same time I was there to visit teach his wife. By the end of our conversation I knew once again that the Lord loved me despite the heart ache he's allowing me to experience. I just didn't know how to let it penetrate my grieving heart.
I went to visit Marilyn for an extended stay the other night since her husband is out of town. I was missing her company and thought it would be a good place to stay to try and get caught up on some much needed time for my self. I got to her house at 9pm and I was lower than I think I've been, in all my life. My testimony of the plan of salvation has been shaken this month. I had that neat experience while I was visiting teaching the other day but it only affected me on the surface. Deep inside and just right under the surface I was crumbling and literally falling apart. I didn't think I'd ever be the same again. I was missing the companionship of the Holy Ghost that I'm so accustomed to feeling in my life but I no longer trusted it's promptings. I have felt so misled and overly tried this month. I showed up on her door step with my pillow in hand and felt like a little teenage girl. From what Marilyn said, I looked like one too. I guess that's easy to imagine because we are 22 years apart. The only time I feel that far apart in age is when I am having feelings of homesickness for our friendship that has been forced to change since Mariela died. During those times I feel like a 10 year old little girl. I sat on her couch while she got us food to snack on and we started to talk. We talked until 5am. It felt good to have time for my self with out feeling like I would suffer the consequences the next day when my little boys would wake up bright and early. I knew I'd be staying at Marilyn's for 2 nights so I knew we could talk until our little hearts were content. I don't think we ever got to that point. Our hearts weren't content but we figured we better sleep at least a bit before the sun came up. I had a bladder infection that set in over the night so I didn't get up and go to church but Marilyn did. She was up and ready for the 9am session. What a lady!! After she got home we talked non stop for 3 more hours until neither of us could keep our eyes open. We took naps until 6p. And felt much better... Then we talked non stop once again from 6p-12:30 am. We could of kept talking because running out of something to say has never ever happened in the last year and a half. Our hearts meet and heaven and earth combined. It sounds stupid but it's true in every sense of the word. Something happened while I was there. I started to feel whole again. When we talked I felt the spirit so strong from the topics we choose to talk about. We talked and talk and as we talked the spirit was strong as usual and I no longer felt so far away from heaven. My Father in Heaven really did love me. I was just hurt inside from my very long month that started with watching Mariela die to loosing my dearest friend to being guided to Natalie Nicole. I was exhausted to the very center of my core. But feeling the spirit return to my heart in the great abundance that it did while Marilyn and I talked made me feel so close to home again. Unfortunately, I know I could of had the same experience with Brett but he is also so lost in grief and the stress of his campaign for judge. Our hearts are worlds apart even though we are going through the exact same thing. I still feel close to him but I feel like we are both holding on and praying when the elections over we will be spared anymore heart ache and hardship, long enough to recover from a very tragic month and a half.
I went to visit Marilyn for an extended stay the other night since her husband is out of town. I was missing her company and thought it would be a good place to stay to try and get caught up on some much needed time for my self. I got to her house at 9pm and I was lower than I think I've been, in all my life. My testimony of the plan of salvation has been shaken this month. I had that neat experience while I was visiting teaching the other day but it only affected me on the surface. Deep inside and just right under the surface I was crumbling and literally falling apart. I didn't think I'd ever be the same again. I was missing the companionship of the Holy Ghost that I'm so accustomed to feeling in my life but I no longer trusted it's promptings. I have felt so misled and overly tried this month. I showed up on her door step with my pillow in hand and felt like a little teenage girl. From what Marilyn said, I looked like one too. I guess that's easy to imagine because we are 22 years apart. The only time I feel that far apart in age is when I am having feelings of homesickness for our friendship that has been forced to change since Mariela died. During those times I feel like a 10 year old little girl. I sat on her couch while she got us food to snack on and we started to talk. We talked until 5am. It felt good to have time for my self with out feeling like I would suffer the consequences the next day when my little boys would wake up bright and early. I knew I'd be staying at Marilyn's for 2 nights so I knew we could talk until our little hearts were content. I don't think we ever got to that point. Our hearts weren't content but we figured we better sleep at least a bit before the sun came up. I had a bladder infection that set in over the night so I didn't get up and go to church but Marilyn did. She was up and ready for the 9am session. What a lady!! After she got home we talked non stop for 3 more hours until neither of us could keep our eyes open. We took naps until 6p. And felt much better... Then we talked non stop once again from 6p-12:30 am. We could of kept talking because running out of something to say has never ever happened in the last year and a half. Our hearts meet and heaven and earth combined. It sounds stupid but it's true in every sense of the word. Something happened while I was there. I started to feel whole again. When we talked I felt the spirit so strong from the topics we choose to talk about. We talked and talk and as we talked the spirit was strong as usual and I no longer felt so far away from heaven. My Father in Heaven really did love me. I was just hurt inside from my very long month that started with watching Mariela die to loosing my dearest friend to being guided to Natalie Nicole. I was exhausted to the very center of my core. But feeling the spirit return to my heart in the great abundance that it did while Marilyn and I talked made me feel so close to home again. Unfortunately, I know I could of had the same experience with Brett but he is also so lost in grief and the stress of his campaign for judge. Our hearts are worlds apart even though we are going through the exact same thing. I still feel close to him but I feel like we are both holding on and praying when the elections over we will be spared anymore heart ache and hardship, long enough to recover from a very tragic month and a half.
